Belly, Baby, Blues:

Here's my 11 week belly.

And here's my 9 week 5 day baby.

We went in for the ultrasound and while our baby was beautiful with
perfect little arms and legs and feet and hands---LONG legs, just like big-brother!
---he or she did not have a heartbeat any longer.

The top of the image shows a cute little round head and pointy little chin,
one hand up by the face, exploring. The other hand on the chest, relaxed.

The legs were curled up in a combination of "indian" style
and the fetal position. The little nub on the side is where one of the legs was sticking
to the side and pulled up against the belly.

We watched for several minutes, hoping--praying---
but that tiny heart never started to beat for us.

From head to butt, the baby measured 2.93 cm (a bit over an inch)
And probably weighed about an oz.

This just makes me even more glad that I went in on Valentine's day because I was worried...
Even though it didn't save my baby, it DID give me an unforgettable opportunity
to see my tiny baby move and see and hear its little heartbeat.
If I hadn't gone in, I'd have never had that.
And that means more than anything.
My baby DID live. It WAS alive.

I will never forget the beautiful woosha-woosha-woosha of that hearbeat.
The most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

For now, baby rests in mama's tummy listening to mama's heart
as it beats only for the beautiful baby nestled below.