There are a lot of groups that give out christmas gifts to military kids around here. We qualify for all of them, but Smidget has everything he could need already, so I feel bad asking for it knowing some kids need it way more. Maybe because I grew up getting gifts from charities because we were so poor---those were the ONLY gifts we got, so I'd feel bad knowing that my son was getting something when another kid might not get a gift at all because he did.
And, maybe, my perception that my child is spoiled is skewed as well by the fact that I did grow up poor and didn't have a lot of toys. I don't think a child needs 10 versions of the same thing. Sure, some toys are meant to have numbers to their ranks (ever try playing with only one Lego?), but he doesn't need 6 cars that drive on their own when you shake them or two train sets or more MegaBlocks---his bin came with 100 pieces, why would he need more?
So, when going down the list of what he wants/needs for Christmas, I come up with:
1. Snow boots.
2. Socks.
3. 4T Pajamas (he likes dinosaurs, so I got 4 pair of dino jammies)
4. Matchbox cars (we stuff them into every bag, so handy for travel and waiting rooms!)
5. Disney DVDs. I'm not much for letting a TV parent for me, but a weekly movie night is great!
6. A train set (he doesn't have tracks, just a train his friend gave him. But he loves trains!
7. Puzzles---okay, here's one area where I approve of more more more. TRULY educational toys!
People have suggested that I should put a LeapPad, Tag Reader, etc on his list. Why would I want a machine to read my child a book? I ENJOY doing that with him! As tedious as it is to read "Dinosaur vs Bedtime" or "Dinosnores" or "Cat In The Hat" 3-5 times per night, I love it. And he loves that snuggle time with me. No machine can replace that. And, at $50+, there are a lot of other items that I'd prefer to get him!
As for the InnoTab and other hand-held gaming systems made for toddlers and preschoolers, I just don't understand the fascination. As an adult, I have a laptop, a smart-phone, a TV, a DVR, an iPod, etc. I'm 10x more connected than I ever was as a kid. And people wonder why it takes me 2 days to answer a text---because I put it down and stepped away. While being connected is nice when you're 3000 miles from your friends, it also distracts me from being HERE and NOW with my child and husband. WHY on earth would I want to give him something that will encourage that "connectedness" to electronics. If he's 10 years old before he ever plays a video game, he'll be just fine. And he won't be missing out on any education because, instead of playing "educational" video games and obsessively burying his nose in his game, he'll be walking with his head up and observing the world around him. He'll still learn that 2+2=4, but he'll also see the beauty in the soar of a hawk and the spray from a garden hose as he goes about his day because he's not concentrated on a game.
To me, Christmas is only partially about what you "want" and is more about what you need. When did it become about buying a child more and more and more until you have to sort through the toy bin and get rid of toys to make room for the new ones. When you're giving away/selling perfectly good toys, not because your child has outgrown the use of those toys or because the toy was used until it fell apart, but because your child is bored with it, or has so many toys that it just isn't in rotation anymore, or because you don't have room, you have a problem.
That is why I buy toys that meet my criteria:
1. Are not dangerous (no small parts, sharp edges, etc for young kids).
2. Are somewhat educational (colors, shapes, numbers, letters, reading, dino species, animal species, etc)
3. Do not take up much space or are collapsible/easily stored.
4. Is not similar to something he already has
5. Encourages imagination.
6. Are durable and not easily broken (I do have a very active little boy, after all)
7. Can be used by a wide age-range. I'd rather buy him something for age 3+ if its something he can grasp/enjoy now and grow into it, than get him something that suits him now that he will be bored with by the time he's 3.
8. Something that can be manipulated in many ways. If it has only one purpose, it'll mean he'll get bored faster. If its single-purpose, its not worth my money.
I have a lot of criteria, I know. But, sticking to them helps me to remember what my child NEEDS vs what he WANTS. My child doesn't need much. He's a simple guy. He's just as happy with an upturned laundry bin and a helium balloon as he is with a new toy. I've learned from watching him that you don't need a lot of TOYS when you know how to PLAY! Hell, you don't need toys at all when mom is perfectly willing to get down on all fours and chase you down while roaring like a dinosaur.
Also---children need fewer toys the more siblings they have. I've seen my child in the presence of other children. Half the time the toys are completely forgotten. Or, worse, they are used as weapons to batter each other because toddlers hate sharing. So, if my kid ever gets a sibling to play with, I'm pretty sure I'll buy even fewer toys than I do now because I'll be passing down Smidget's toys and they'll share others and they'll play together and imagine together in ways that need no toys at all!
So, why would I ask for a handout for my child. The best gift he could ever get is time with me---going to the zoo, going fishing, digging in the dirt, or playing make-believe. No charity can ever give him that. So, I see no reason to put my name on a list when there are FAR more needy children out there; many of whom, like me as a child, will get no gifts at all this Christmas except from those charities. And while I don't think those kids NEED toys either, there IS a need to feel loved and special by having a gift of your own to open on Christmas morning. So, I balance my buying for my son by realizing what he needs with what he wants to let him feel special without spoiling him. And by buying gifts for children who might not get gifts otherwise.
So, remember, if you don't need the hand-out, don't accept it. And if you don't need it, think about putting that little bit of surplus into buying a small gift for someone else's child. Regardless of how you feel about hand-outs and welfare, always remember that the children don't have a choice and supporting them is always a good decision!
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